To all my friends and the rest of the Internet in the UK,
It probably hasn’t escaped your attention that in a few months time we’re going to be having one of those general election things. In theory, this gives us a chance to change who governs us, the direction the country is going in and all that sort of good stuff. Generally speaking, I don’t think we have a very good track record with this; in part, I think because we’re too afraid of the wasted vote boogeyman – however, to improve our track record it would probably be a good thing if we debated the issues that are important to us and discussed the alternatives. As you are all intelligent people who try to keep themselves informed about the important issues of the day, I’m sure you’re going to have a lot to share on the various topics that present themselves in the run up to the election.
It is on this matter that I wish to talk to you. I’m sure that you have thought carefully about the positions you hold on the important issues facing us and are eager to share that with your friends and acquaintances. I’m sure you consider at least the majority of your friends to also be intelligent, informed, civilised people – yet despite this, some of them are going to disagree with you. They may in fact hold quite opposing views to you, which they have also reached by careful consideration and examining the evidence. This is ok. Seriously; your friends holding opposing views to you is more than ok; it’s a good thing ™. It’s only by the tension of opposing ideas and by testing our opinions against those that hold differing views, that we can check for errors and make sure that we haven’t overlooked a flaw in our thought. Some of your friends may even share things you find quite objectionable. They may hold those views or they may be sharing it for the purposes of discussion – this is also a good thing. It’s far better that ideas are shared and discussed and tested rather than suppressed (The suppression of thought and ideas has a really really bad track record).
Some of you may be tempted to “defriend” people who share X, or are going to vote Y. You may even be tempted to post something like:
“If you’re going to vote X save me the effort and defriend yourself now”
(You know who you are). Please resist this temptation, these are after all your friends you’re talking about. In the first case would you really throw away a friendship over a difference of opinion, no matter how heinous, without first talking to them about it? If you would, I suggest they’re probably not actually a friend or you hold friendship very cheap. More than that though, if you are so sure your ideas are correct and theirs wrong, by excluding them from your echo chamber you lose the chance to change their minds. Again, these are your friends we’re talking about. Surely they are people you can have serious discussions with? Beyond that – the suppression of political view points and of political parties has also got a really very bad track record and is something best avoided. Online there are all sorts of ways of effectively saying “I don’t want to talk about this” – make use of these functions, it will save your blood pressure and your friendships. At the very least maybe try to talk to them about whatever view they’ve expressed that has so offended you – you may both learn something.
We’ve all lived different lives and have different concerns, but I’m sure your friends aren’t evil people and, like you, are trying to find the best way to achieve the best for everyone. As is so often the case, there are many ways to achieve the same goals and we haven’t yet found a sure-fire way of identifying them in advance. The best we have is debate and discussion – closing that down isn’t going to do anyone any favours. Name calling doesn’t help either. So if someone seems to be supporting a party you don’t like, ask them why, or if you can’t do that maybe just hide those posts or that person ’til later. In our voting system we vote for individuals as much as parties – so perhaps that unforgivable party they’re voting for is represented by a really good person and the other options are horrendous. Maybe the issues they consider vital are different from yours. I’d suggest (from experience) that if you actually talk to each other you’ll have more in common than you do differences – you are after all friends.
If after all this you still think that losing a friendship over holding a view you don’t care for, without talking to them first, is a good plan, and you think that suppressing ideas is a smart move – well then do me a favour stop reading this and defriend me. Just assume I hold the hated view as well – because sooner or later I’m going to stand up for that person.
