Black Friday! Break out the champers Jeeves.

Today is apparently black Friday, and the articles and posts about how terrible it all is were already well underway yesterday. These articles seem to originate from the worst of the champagne socialists, just consider this article in the Guardian lauding “Civilised Friday”. Where booksellers try to tempt people in with “butlers serving prosecco and free hand massages” presumably in the hope that people might also buy a book or two. This is apparently so much better than the “rampant consumerism” that drag “the sheep” out of bed to buy something they could buy anytime of the year. Obviously failing to notice that the shops are offering significant discounts (that being the point of a sale) thus letting people buy things they couldn’t actually afford out of the sale. IT gets worse though they’re buying things they “want” rather than things they “need”! How very dare they, don’t they know that they should only be buying the bare necessities there’s no place for luxuries in the live of the lower orders. Nope these enlightened progressive lefties know that the lower orders shouldn’t be entertaining the idea of buying luxuries and making their lives nicer, nope they should only buy necessities. From their prosecco serving bookshops they can determine that the poor sheep are victims of big business with no agency of their own, duped into spending money merely for fleeting happiness and bragging rights. That people might be using the sale to save money on Christmas presents, or to get a laptop needed for school or some such is a thought never entertained by our progressive friends.

You really can’t help but start to suspect that whilst they’re sipping champagne and having their hands massaged they’re cursing the fact that they weren’t born as feudal lords, where the lower classes knew their place and would be satisfied with nothing more than a job, food to eat and a roof over their head. That the lower classes shouldn’t be aspiring to posses even a shred of the luxuries and comforts that are naturally their right. This of course isn’t because they’re nasty evil toffs or capitalists oh no! They are enlightened souls who have risen above base materialism; from their lofty heights they can see clearly to guide the lower orders away from the snares and temptations of the latest iPhone, gadget or hint of enjoyment. For them possessing such objects is a symbol of their enlightenment as they wield their iPhone against the might of capitalism to free the poor sheep from the chains of having nice things. Vital to the fight, allowing them to tweet how ghastly it all is whilst drinking artisan coffee that they can buy any day of the year with no need to queue for a sale. The idea of people spending their own money, that they’ve worked for on what ever the hell they like is just too much for these poor sensitive souls to deal with.

The real mystery though is why isn’t anyone complaining about the cultural appropriation of this American festival?

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