And now for something completely different

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Alice Cooper and Preacher
I’ve loads of browser windows open with stuff I should link to, or mutter about or something. However rather more fun I thought I’d plug two friends of mine of somewhat awesome talent. So last night after my day job I took a break from reading blogs and thinking “I really should write something” to lend a friend of mine a hand. After all how often do you get the chance to help a mate audition in front of Alice Cooper? So I toddled along to a pub changed jacket and drank beer whilst Preacher (the not so pretty chap stood next to Mr Cooper in the photo) got changed, before we all toddled along to the London Dungeon to sit twiddling our thumbs waiting to be called. This was just as well as it gave the ever talented Ms. Gugenheim FaceBook a bit more time to fix Preachers face (she took about 30 minutes or so to do what you see in the photo). The other performers were generally goos sorts so hanging around was quite jolly, which was just as well as himself was on almost last, and ended up being called on earlier than the props guys expected – which made for an amusing ad-hoc start to his act, most of which I missed due ot having to lurk out of sight behind the late to stage table. So one very punchy 4 minute act later and with himself on a bed of nails, I got to place some floor tiles on top of him before smashing them with the sharp end of an axe. At this point wondering if we should have rehearsed that bit did cross my mind, but he survived amidst much applause. There then followed more thumb twiddling (or axe twiddling in my case), before the winners got called back – which fortunately included himself.
ITN have a bit of his act in thier interview with Alice Cooper and he’s apparently been on the news a bit elsewhere all of which I’ve missed, it’ll all allegedly be shown on Sky at some point. If that turns out to be true I’ll get my 15 seconds of fame with my first time not backstage (Usually I do Preachers pyro’s and stay firmly back stage).

So preacher will be performing at Alice Coopers gigs at Halloween and Ms. Gugenheim will be doing his and the other freaks make-up. I’d heartily recommend going along to see, or even toddle along to the Brickhouse sometime next month where he’ll be doing a regular show. Then with luck at some point he can pay me for the props I’ve made him. If you ever need a body painter or a fire/sideshow performer you really can’t go far wrong working with either of these two people.

Auditioning for Alice Cooper was a hell of a lot more fun than the farce that’s Britains got Talent which we did earlier in the year. If you’re not a song or dance act really there’s no point in doing that they’ll make you look bad and will actively make sure you don’t stand a chance. I may write more about that some other time having been invovled with two acts taking part in it now.

I’ll now return you to your scheduled ranting.

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A collection of idiocy

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Once again I foolishly read the Metro on my way to work, you’d have thought by now I’d know better. The very front page greeted me with two disparate examples of idiocy.

The lesser of the two was that random strangers decided to impose themselves on the family and friends of Raoul Moat because he’s “an hero” (as I believe they say in popular youth culture). From the mouth of on of the inconsiderate cretins demonstrating such a lack of manners came this utter gem:

“I absolutely loved him. I just think he is a hero and I wanted to pay my respects. He kept them coppers on the run all that time. Fair enough people died but they must have deserved it”

With so much lunacy in that short statement to choose from I’ll just observe that as only two people died (if one includes Mr Moat) then for that ladies statement to be true Mr Moat himself must have deserved it. Which is I think something that can be widely agreed upon.

The bigger idiocy which also got the larger headline comes from Manchester where the local councils want to pass a by-law to enforce minimum pricing on alcohol, at the proposed level of 50p a unit, which will no doubt do worlds of good for the local economy given the size of Manchesters student population. So why would the good councillors of Manchester get this idea from why, from Our Life an NHS funded pressure group. As LegIron observes it’s a stupid unworkable idea, that resembles nothing so much as the first creeping controls on smoking. The idea is so stupid is both unlikely to be allowed nor to work if it is allowed, and yet it keeps being suggested by various sources in various places. Someone really is determined to get booze onto the denormalisation and control conveyor.

And finally a bit of nonsense from Facebook where a commentator reaction to the news that the COI will cut up to 40% of staff with cries of outrage that the evil Tories (not coalition) were going to sacrifice these vital government marketing jobs all 300 hundred of them, and just think of the cost that having 300 spin doctors on the dole will be compared to say oh paying them much larger chunks of money out of the same taxes that would pay their benefits. Mind you never know some of them might even be able to get another job despite the allegation that “Some of those people have enver worked anywhere other than at the COI”.
Instead the government should just create more jobs as apparently you can’t cut your way out of a recession (which I believe is technically over anyway), so I guess the last quarters increase of 8% increase in job adverts probably didn’t actually happen.

Anyway that’s enough idiocy for the day, next time I’ll try to remember not to read the papers.

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On yer bike!

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TFL Bikes

With a surprisingly small amount of negative press Boris’s bike hire scheme launched last Friday, even the Mirror don’t outright trash the plan. Reading an interview with Boris before the launch he seemed quite realistic about the fact that there would be teething troubles and that it will take a while to get everything working smoothly, so with that in mind limiting it to people who sign up in advance as de-facto beta testers seems an excellent way of doing a gradual roll out. The review in cycling plus compared the bikes reasonably well to their Parisian counter parts. Hearing people on the train say that such a scheme might work well elsewhere but not in London because Brits will just trash them was more a depressing comment on the state of British self perception rather than anything else.

Being a bit of a cyclist I signed up for my key in advance, and took one of the bikes out for a spin the first day they were available. Only a short trip from Victoria to Charing Cross. Armed with the map of docking stations locating the bikes near Victoria didn’t prove much of a challenge – though it would be nice if they had stands actually right next to the major stations rather than a few minutes away though I suspect this would cause a scarcity and congestion problems – so failing that signposts would be nice. Having managed to be literate enough to read the letter that came with my keys and the stickers on the keys telling me I must register them before I could use them I didn’t have any problems getting the bike out of the station.

Put key in slot, wait a bit till light goes green pull bike out (firmly) pull key out adjust saddle off I went.

I didn’t see anyone else using them on my short ride down Victoria Street, along Whitehall and round Trafalgar Square, but I did have the fun experience of slightly peeved looks from people on “proper” bikes as I over took them – I think this may become a new hobby. The bike didn’t handle quite well enough to cycle hands free but just keeping one hand resting lightly on the bars was more than sufficient (I do find the brakes being labelled front and back slightly disturbing – but probably makes sense for the wider range of users). Docking the bike at my destination was equally trouble free push it firmly into place, miss the remarkably speedy green light (this needs to stay lit for longer or beep) – check bike is docked because I’m paranoid and missed the green light -walk away. Journey happily complete.

Now there are quite a few things I didn’t like about the bike, but lend me anyone’s bike and there’ll be things I don’t like about it, I’ve spent hours getting my own bikes just right and I’m still not entirely happy. So allowing for that the bikes are actually quite nice, definitely sturdy machines they are not fleet of foot steeds designed for Le’Tour, but for short journeys across London really can’t complain. I think that really probably sums up the entire experience, the bikes and docking stations seem to meet a decent specification rather neatly, a bit like a “one size fits all t-shirt” it’s never going to look brilliant but it’ll do the job. The bikes are pretty much spot on for low maintenance usable by the vast majority of people short hop city shoppers. The charging scheme along with the penalty fees for losing the bike or keeping it too long will I think prevent the worst excesses of theft and misuse, and if people do take to vandalising them, well Londoners need to do that most strange of things and report it and take a bit of pride in what could be a really useful resource. I won’t be using them everyday probably only about once or twice a month, but for getting from work to a pub to meet friends and not have to worry about getting my own bike home or where to leave it – these things are going to be ideal and fill that annoying transport gap between “can’t be arsed to walk to walk that far” and “the tube will actually be quicker and easier” (So any distance that would take more than 20 minutes to walk but less then 40)

So in summary the good and the bad:

  • Good – The seat post has numbered marks, making it much easier to adjust bikes after the first use – this is apparently common in gyms
  • Bad – The saddle is a bit wide – but I’m a scrawny streak of nothing and it probably suits more people
  • Good – The keys are nice and slim so don’t bulk up your key ring much
  • Bad – The keys are nice and slim and so easy to lose in a bag when not attached to a key ring
  • Good – Three speed hub gears
  • Bad – The lowest gear is really a bit low – but probably works for people that are maybe less fit and encounter a hill
  • Good – The charging scheme makes it very cheap for most journeys (The furthest apart docking stations are 8.3 miles distance which would be a fun challenge to try to do in under 30 minutes)
  • Good – The penalty costs should prevent too much theft (Though I’m tempted to stump up 300 quid just to be able to take one of them all over the country taking pictures of it – not quite tempted enough but…)
  • Good – The info point at docking stations pint to nearest alternate racks and show what’s within 15 minutes
  • Bad – The info point maps don’t show where other docking stations are
  • Bad – No mobile phone friendly map of the docking stations, I expect someone will make an app for it (and I plan to plot them all into Ovi maps so I’ve got them on my phone)
  • Bad – Docking stations aren’t easy to find at your destination unless you’ve checked where they are in advance (Adding signs to nearest docking stations at Tube and rail stops and even on local bus maps would be a really good idea)
  • Bad – They don’t have a catchy nick name yet – “Boris’s bikes” as coined by the metro does not count

And that’s probably enough good and bad to be going on with. I think by and large they’ve got the scheme right, and the bikes will turn out to be both popular and a positive addition to the city. Of course both enough vandalism or a massive media frenzy after the first fatality (and there will be one at some point) leading to knee jerk binning of the scheme by the powers that be could both kill it off. But I hope it doesn’t as I’m already considering bike hire adventures with friends and also wondering what a fleet of Guy Fawkes on TFL bikes might look like next November.

Tinfoil hat comment
Of course as all the keys are registered or you’ll have to give credit card details, this does mean that they will be able to track your journey start and end points if you use these bikes.

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